


Smutty Literature

by Viscariafields



Series: Puppy Love [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viscariafields/pseuds/Viscariafields
Summary: Alistair reads one of Bethany's novels and finds the characters and plot bear a striking resemblance to his own life.Some silly post-wedding fluff.
Relationships: Alistair/Bethany Hawke
Series: Puppy Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715638
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	Smutty Literature

“Bethany, sweetheart, I was reading one of your books—”

Bethany dropped her sewing as her head whipped around. “Which book?” she asked as nonchalantly as someone who had just tossed her embroidery and pulled a muscle in her neck turning too quickly could.

“Uh, well.” He flipped it over in his hand, a cover Bethany did not recognize, and shrugged. “There doesn’t appear to be a title.” Alistair’s face was very red, and Bethany had a sinking suspicion he had stumbled across one of the racy tomes Isabela seemed to just keep sending her.

After Bethany had specifically asked her to.

“It’s just… there were certain similarities—a resemblance, you could say—to, well, to us.”

She swallowed. It was true that Bethany enjoyed reading the erotica that Isabela supplied her. It was also true that sometimes after an intense reading session she asked Alistair to try out certain things she had found in those books. Sometimes to great success and other times less so. For his part, Alistair seemed happy to try new things and applied an enthusiasm she found stirring. She hadn’t exactly told him the source of her inspiration, and he had never asked.

“What sort of similarities?” She could feel her own face reddening as Alistair sat in his armchair across from hers.

“Well. For starters, the main character is a bastard prince.”

“Is that all?” Bethany smiled, trying to hide her relief. “Well, it’s a romance. That’s sort of a romantic notion, a prince in disguise. Noble, but humble about it.”

“I… is there a word for flattered, offended, and incredulous all at the same time? Because I can tell you there was nothing romantic about not knowing my parents, being passed off to the chantry, and then having a crown jammed on my head.”

Bethany fished around the floor for her embroidery again, quite certain she had nothing to fear from _this_ conversation. “It’s _fiction_. The idea is romantic, just as the idea of being a Grey Warden and flying on griffons is romantic.”

“Well it’s funny you should say that,” he drawled. Bethany shot him a questioning look, and he slowly raised an eyebrow at her. “The buxom heroine in this story is a Grey Warden from humble origins who discovers she’s nobility.”

“Is she a mage, too?” she asked sarcastically. She supposed it was natural, if the people had enough details of their life, to make a romantic story out of them. Their story _was_ romantic, in its way.

“Yes.”

Bethany snorted.

“And they meet when the prince, Arthur, I think his name is, calls Beatrice to his office while she is visiting Denerim on Warden business.”

“What?” There was no way some random author knew about that meeting. Bethany felt the blood draining from her face. She had the smallest snippet of a memory, a card that had become detached from a wedding present, signed by Isabela. _I had this specially made for you_ , it had said, but there were so many presents and frankly, being a newlywed, she had other things on her mind, and _Maker’s breath_ , she could _not_ have possibly commissioned smutty literature about her and Alistair.

“It goes a bit differently than our meeting, as I recall. I think I would have had to replace my desk if we tried all the things they do on it.”

“Mhmmph” was the rather strangled sound that came from Bethany.

“Oh?” Alistair asked looking altogether too pleased with himself, “Have I jogged your memory regarding this rather specific piece of literature?”

Bethany’s voice was very small when she replied. “I believe it was a gift. From Isabela.”

“That would explain the pirate queen who appears in chapter twenty-two.”

“She does not!” Bethany rose from her chair to try and snatch the book from Alistair, but he refused to relinquish it. After a minor struggle, Bethany found herself situated in his lap, one arm around her waist while the other held the book open and away from her.

“Oh, I assure you, she does,” he murmured into her ear while she scanned the page. After very quickly spotting the words ‘nubile,’ ‘petal,’ and ‘sheath,’ Bethany squeezed her eyes tight while Alistair laughed.

“You don’t suppose they made _copies_ of this?”

Bethany turned to stare at him in horror while they both considered that unwelcome thought. Now he let her take the book from him, and she flipped it open to find the publisher while he nuzzled her neck. A Kirkwall group she recognized, who definitely, absolutely, without a question made copies that by now littered Hightown.

Her thoughts went elsewhere, however, when Alistair pressed a kiss behind her ear. “About the thing with the desk…”

“Yes?” Alistair asked, drawing the word out.

“Any chance you’d like to show me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Isabela's VERY subtle way of saying she's down for a threesome, in case they weren't sure. 
> 
> In about two hours, Bethany is going to realize Alistair reads all of her books.


End file.
